Hidden Secrets

JonFairies, Shamanic Healing, Shamanism

My life is really crazy right now!  I’m trying to sell my house, relocate, expand my business, find a new romance, usher my kids into adulthood, get my book published, and keep my head above water in this financial bath we all seem to be swimming in.  There’s nothing stable and set in my life—well, is there ever really?  Nothing to hang my hat on and say, okay, at least for the time being this is secure; I don’t have to worry about this.  For the most part, I’m managing—just—and at times I am even in a kind of joy about it.  “You’re standing in pure potential,” I say to myself.  “What could be better than that?”

But then there are days like this morning, when for no real reason at all, I wake up so dispirited and tired.  Bone tired.  How long do I need to keep all these balls in the air?  I mean, I’m only one person, right?  How much can a girl handle?

So, I do what I do most mornings—I draw a card from one of my oracle decks—it’s like taking my spiritual temperature.  I draw from my Celtic Tree Oracle (love this deck!) the Honeysuckle card in the reversed position.  (Seems like every card I pull these days is reversed—signals and energy jammed up all over the place.)  The message is this—a temporary faltering.  Look for hidden secrets.  I draw another card from my Healing With the Fairies deck.  I pull Honoring Your True Feelings.

I am a big believer in the phrase: what we resist persists.  Feelings are buoyant—submerging them is like trying to drown an inflated beach ball.  So I sit and catalogue the feelings I need to honor in this world-weary moment.  I feel like I’m doing something wrong, like if I really had it together, I’d be manifesting miracles in a snap.  Bam! A fair and equitable offer on my house!  Bam! A congratulatory call from my agent! Bam! Mr. Right standing on my doorstep, with roses, no, make that tulips, yes, definitely tulips, in his hand.

God, grant me the serenity, I remind myself, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  A hidden secret reveals itself: do all that you can do and then, let it go.  I review everything I have spinning up there in space right now. Yes, I have done everything I can do.  I surrender it with gratitude.  Ah, I feel a might better.